Words, by Cat

They said to walk a mile in someone else's shoes. I don't understand how this works.

Generally not a good place for cats to sleep. Humans put these in very hot places, where they make food for us to eat.

Scissors are just a harmless toy, right?

Set top boxes are warm, convenient places designed for cats.

A simple way to get two cats from one. The second cat is sadly two dimensional and monochrome.

If you are not already striped, humans invented blinds so we can pretend.

Undeniably feline.

Cat sized, cat shaped, very comfortable, why do humans have to spoil it with a faucet?

From little things big things grow.

Cats are masters of camouflage, and can look exactly like a sock or a pair of underpants when the need arises.

Even cats can understand highly technical terms like 'span', and can demo them even better.

Warm and sensual.

Spouts are on teapots. Tea comes out of them. Humans seem to like tea. Cats do not. But we do like teapots.

A human invention that makes it easier to get to high places.

Like a real cat, but cold, hard, and doesn't move.

These can make it more difficult for cats to ascend than if they were not there at all. Unsure why humans bother. Most inconvenient.

A stump is what is left of a tree when you cut it down. Turns a climbing frame into a basking spot.

Sunglasses stop the sun from getting in human’s eyes. Sleeping all day is more effective.

Broad range, easily available heat source made just for cats. Unfortunately it is only available during the daytime, and the nighttime substitute is just not very good at all.